{ togawp } – hollywood’s secret sauce

Hottie Denise Richards has scheduled a Playboy shoot just 3 months after giving birth. Playboy really hit a homerun with this spread, I mean Denise Richards nude, and perhaps holding her child? Who knows, but imaginations do fly when naked images of Denise dance in ones mind. Officially we love Denise ever since she played sexy Lieutenant Ibanez in ‘Starship Troopers’, but honestly we’re not very pleased with her recent choice of hubbies Charlie Sheen. No worries and kudos Charlie, you are a better man for bagging such a incredible hottie than any of us. All we care about it that we can still see her naked.
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Is Mary Kate Oslen an anorexic or an addict? Rumors have it that the Billion Dollar USD$ franchise might be in more jeapordy than anyone previously suspected. Our ToGawp staff has recently heard claims from ‘The Star’ that the Oslen twins’ anorexia may just be a part of a bigger drug addiction problem. Possibly pills,hard drugs including alcohol addiction; either way your going to encounter more instances of drugs now that your 18 years old. So get better over in Sundance Mary-Kate and when you get out lets party.
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Britney Spears, always the purveyor of brilliant judgement, has gotten engaged to Kevin Federline.

No word yet on any sort of special tattoo plans for before/during/after the ceremony. Or if there are any scheduled attacks on paparazzi. But we have learned that the couple is planning to register at Crate & Barrel, Bloomingdales’, and The NASCAR Store.

Rest assured, we’re on the case–ToGawp’s spies are already working the phones to get an invitation to the Spears/Federline wedding extravaganza.

[PREVIOUSLY on TOGAWP: Britney Spears and Kevin Federline get matching dice tattoos]

[from Reuters via Gawker]
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Adding to her already vast repertoire, Carmen Electra pulled into the Arco this week, and did the seemingly unthinkable–she pumped her own gas. (Ed. Note: Yeah, I know–Arco?)

Of course, before she got her pump on, Carmen was good enough to park her white Mercedes in front of all the pumps (click thumb to see full image).

You go, Carmen.

[from the blueprint via Defamer]

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There has been BIG talk around town this week about Colin Farrell and his, uh, performance, in the upcoming A Home At The End Of The World….most notably, the size of his package in a full-frontal nude scene.  First, the UK’s Sun reported of "gasps" in the audience, when Colin’s manhood was exposed in its full, uncut glory on screen.  Of course, some, like Defamer quickly identified the PR flack nature of the Sun’s (bastion of journalism that it is) "story".  Then we got reports from other witnesses to the bare flesh revealed at the screening–

I saw "A Home…" at a press screening two months ago. As the editor of a nat’l gay men’s mag at the time, you bet my guest and I were somewhat overwhelmed when we saw Colin’s meat literally precede him out of the bedroom in the aforementioned nixed shot. Of course, I was on the phone with all of my crony gay mag editor friends the next day gossiping about it, because there was something that just wasn’t right. You have to understand, we’ve seen a lot of cock. Not to get into the gory details, but a penis just doesn’t usually move the way his wagged (or, rather, didn’t) when he walked down the hall. The verdict was it was most definitely fluffed. That, or, we wouldn’t have been surprised if the Colin PR machine insisted on a little low-budget CG "enhancement." Plus, what is he, like 5′5"? Of course it’ll look big.

Is Colin Farrell using a stunt cock?  For now, only Colin, Britney, Angelina, and an unconfirmed number in the hundreds/thousands can say.   

[from The Sun UK, Fleshbot, and Defamer]

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According to reports, Joan and Melissa Rivers are set to leave E! to join the TV Guide Channel, in an $8 million deal. That’s right…these two mindless plastic puppets are going to get $8 million.

We’ll give you time to go vomit.

[from the New York Post via L.A. Observed]

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After viewing the recent Epic Troy, Val Kilmer commented negatively about Brad Pitt saying ”He’s a nice guy but he’s a wimp.” Claiming the "hollywood hunk," as a bonafied "Wimp," takes some guts I wanna see the two brawl, I dunno Batman or Fight Club. My bets are on Pitt.

Woah there bar brawler Val, what’s your beef with Brad? Are you jealous and just trying to promote your new film Alexander, a "Troy Like" epic of your own? Or truly dissapointed that he had air-brushed muscles, and it didn’t do it for you?

Well readers it’s up to you who is the true Wimp? Val or Brad?

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I cannot laugh enough at this, but our local ToGawp informants has uncovered that Britney Spears was treated by paramedics on Saturday after her Mum ran over the foot of a Papparazzi photographer. The encounter made Britney all frantic and panic. She was reported screaming and crying after the accident. More than half a dozen police cars and two ambulances arrived at the scene.”

Seems that Britney and Lynne her Mother were shopping along Wilshire Blvd. & 9th Street in Santa Monica this weekend when they were spotted by some paparazzi photographer’s who quickly surrounded their car when they tried to leave.

That’s the last time those two try to get a Puppy anytime soon, sorry Britney but try ordering it from a breeder next time – no one will get hurt.

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With sweet Casio piano music, voiceovers, personal insight, and Antonio Banderas news, all we want to know is–How has Melanie Griffith not gotten more attention for her craptacular website/blog.

Houston, we have found a whole new dimension of “too much information”.

Although, we did enjoy Melanie’s tale of driving in the car with her kids when the radio DJ started talking about how Antonio asked Melanie to not get any more nip or tuck action.

For more simply breathtaking commentary, be sure to visit MelanieGriffith.com. And don’t forget to turn the volume way up.

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What else can you say? The once-adorable Miss Britney Spears went out for a night on the town, and apparently either got a horrible case of food poisoning, or had Carol Channing’s makeup people give her a makeover on her way out the door. Assuming the latter is the case, we can only surmise that Britney’s face is a product of her first glance in the mirror that evening.

Whatever the case, Britney–you need to run for the safe-haven of an airbrushed Playboy spread, pronto. Help the world put images like these out of mind (at least until the next bender).

[via Popbitch]

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