{ togawp } – hollywood’s secret sauce

You had to see this coming–an ABC crew following Paris Hilton around spied the heiress with none other than Alexander himself, Colin Farrell. 

Apparently someone failed to explain the concept clearly to Colin–having sex with Paris only helps your movie if the movie is actually about having sex with Paris Hilton.  Her powers of publicity are useless for promoting badly-dyed, bisexually-charged, overbudget action spectacles.

Of course the real news of this union may come on the Six Degrees of Separation front, as Gawker so astutely pointed out:

Now everyone in Hollywood has fucked each other via no more than 3 degrees of separation.

Alexander conquers Paris [Gatecrasher - N.Y. Daily News]

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New feature time here at ToGawp–THEY DID WHAT?

Starting today, every Friday (or maybe Saturdays, when we’re lazy) we’ll be bringing you a regular recap of the week’s celebrity chatter, day-by-day.  So now, just because you did something crazy, like, I don’t know, maybe worked and had a life all week, you can always come to the Gawp on Friday to see what you’ve missed. 

Or you can think of it like a non-musical version of Billy Joel’s "We Didn’t Start the Fire", but with all the JFK and Mao references replaced with Britney and Lohan:

MONDAY
+ Anna Nicole Smith was apparently huffing model airplane glue before her appearance at the American Music Awards; though later in the week, her publicist would try to tell us it was due to Anna’s poor eyesight.  Funny, we would have gone with her illiteracy.

TUESDAY
+ We heard there was some stink about Desperate Housewives star Nicolette Sheridan appearing somewhat nude on Monday Night Football; but we didn’t see anything in the news about it?

WEDNESDAY

+ In what I can only hope was an attempt at trolling for some of that sweet product endorsement jing, Jared Leto publicly demonstrated that he likes Scarlett, but he loves his t-Mobile Sidekick [Star Magazine]

+ Jack White told reporters that he refused an offer to play guitar on Lindsay Lohan’s new album.  Darn, that would have been really funny. [FemaleFirst.co.uk]

+ As all classy girls do, Real Worlder-turned-Playboy-covergirl Trishelle sold herself for a grand on eBay.

THURSDAY
+ SJP (Sarah Jessica Parker for the uninitiated) is apparently getting her own fragrance.  If it reeks as bad as her latest Gap commercials, we’re sure we’ll be able to whiff it from 4 blocks away. [In Touch]

+ Poptart-turned-legit-actress Mandy Moore hopped on the latest bandwagon–public areola exhibition [Defamer]

+ Need to calm down after reading that last Mandy Moore item?  Well check out the news about Liza Minnelli’s current legal troubles….they involve her being accused of coercing/forcing her former bodyguard to have sex with her.  Yeah, I thought that would erase any Moore-nipple-related arousal. [IMDB]

+ The Federlines went to McDonalds [Stereogum]

FRIDAY

+ Thursday’s episode of The O.C. got all name-droppy with the folks at Endeavor [TVGasm]

+ Some "Sexiest Man Alive" juice was tossed in Jude Law’s general direction.  Of course, if Alfie is any indicator, no one really cares, at least not enough to shell out $10 to look at his pretty mug. [People]

+ Supposedly, the Bush Twins walked into a N.Y. restaurant, and the maitre’d told them the restaurant was booked….for the next four years.  Assuming it is true, we will naturally look for the restaurant’s Department of Homeland Security-ordered shutdown, on grounds of being a reported terrorist refuge, sometime next week. [Gawker]

+ Finally, in news that could affect the entire world–a pop war of unparalleled proportions may very well be about to unfold, as Hilary Duff has reportedly been seen with Lohan’s ex, Wilmer Valderamma….oh no she did-nt. [KIIS-FM, L.A.]

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ToGawp reader Alexa gives us the following Simpson-related dish:

The Daily News reports that Nick Lachey’s
blonder, more buxom half, who is already pocketing big bucks to talk up the
wonders of Pizza Hut, Proactiv, and her "lickable" Dessert beauty products, has
now signed a $10 million licensing deal with the Andrew Sports Club corporation to
launch her very own clothing line.

The duds will debut under the "Jessica Simpson" and "Sweet Kisses" brand names and will include items such as junior
sportswear, dresses, hats, kids’ clothes, jewelry, lingerie, and watches. And
even though Jess doesn’t know her oregano from her okra, and probably thinks Le
Corbusier is something that can be cleared up with Proactiv, there’s also talk
of a home furnishings line.

The deal was overseen (naturally) by Jessica’s dad, Joe Simpson, who hit it off on a spiritual level with Sports Club CEO Andrew Kirpalani:

"We really clicked, because I was speaking to him as an Evangelical and a preacher," Kirpalani tells the paper. "Being a Hindu myself, I could relate to that." 

Look for the clothes in red states around mid-2005, at Sears (or SearsKmart, as it may be), J.C. Penney, and other fine fashion retailers.

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NEW YORK (Top40 Charts) – Rapper ODB, whose real name was Russell Jones, has died at the age of 35 – just two days before of his birthday.

The rapper collapsed on the floor of 36 Records LLC and died in his New York studio Saturday. A spokesman for Jones’ label, Roc-A-Fella, says he had been complaining of chest pains. The details of his death are still leery, but police are saying it appeared he succumbed to natural causes.

ODB, or ‘Ol’ Dirty Bastard’, was a part of the hit group Wu-Tang Clan, passed yesterday (November 13), while recording at a Manhattan recording studio.

"This ain’t no joke. This is real life, just like you lose your mother, or your brother. This is a big loss, but I guess he’s with the Father now. He’s in good hands," GhostFace Killah said to the New York Daily News.

Ol’ Dirty Bastard, who renamed himself Dirt McGirt, was released from prison late last year and signed with Damon Dash’s Roc-A-Fella Records with intend to make his solo career comeback. There is no official word on how much material has been recorded for his album or if it will even be released with this sad news.

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NEW YORK (Britney Spears Fans Website) – Britney Spears has once again sparked rumours that she is pregnant by decorating a nursery in her new Malibu mansion. The Chicago Sun-Times published a report yesterday speculating that the Britney Spears pregnancy rumours may be true. The paper quotes an unnamed source as saying that "Britney and Kevin Federline will make an official announcement sometime around American Thanksgiving." Also, the british tabliod The Sun quoted that "Federline husband also confined to a friend that they are expecting a child and that if they have a baby girl they will name her Aurora."

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Rumors are swirling that pop hunk Nick Lachey cheated on his wife Jessica Simpson with porn star Jessica Jaymes at a bachelor party.

Star magazine and National Enquirer both claim Lachey frolicked with Jaymes at the October 12 bash for his sound engineer friend Sean Sullivan, held at the Hollywood Hills home of C-Note Records owner Cody Leibel.

While Jaymes admits Lachey watched her in a sex show, she denies anything else happened.

[sfgate]

(more…)

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8:01pm — Sandy GO GET HIM!

8:06pm — So we’re wasting no time before getting into Marissa’s drinking problem, I take it.  We’ll have to figure out exactly what a "Newport Beach Iced Tea" is.

8:10pm — "You’re either hopped up on blow, or something is seriously wrong."

8:11pm — Sounds like Caleb and Julie are trying to closely emulate their Fox sister "Arrested Development"….ponies on the company card….sheesh.

8:13pm — Ahhhh, so Seth ran away to Luke and his big gay Dad.  Now the whole Portland thing makes a lot more sense.

8:14pm — And Jimmy Cooper has a beard.  Well, if you can call it that.  Sort of patchy.

8:15pm — Why is Seth "digging in and holding his position"?  Is it just us, or is Seth starting off this year as ten times the whiny bitch he was at the beginning of last season?

8:20pm — You gotta drink to that slow-mo high five into the face-to-face with young Ryan shot.  Brilliant.

8:24pm — "Well you’ve got some willpower….she has a killer rack".

8:27pm — Yep, Seth is definitely at his all-time bitchiest.  How do all you girls dig this guy so much?

8:28pm — What’s the over-under on the Marissa DUI?

8:29pm — Is it just me, or did Marissa just wait a minute before hanging up?  Who does that?  Seriously.  (While slamming back a bottle of vodka straight, no less)

8:37pm — Oh man, this is going to be good.  Julie v. Marissa, poolside.

8:38pm — "You really wanna know what’s on my mind? Raaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"  Ahhahahahahahahaha!  Classic.

8:40pm — What the hell is Summer talking about?

8:41pm — Did Kirsten Cohen get HOTTER this summer?  And not in a creepy botox way either.  You can take your Summer and Marissa….give me Seth’s mom.

8:47pm — "There was lawn furniture in the pool."  The Newport Beach benchmark for when behavior gets out of hand.

8:53pm — Wait for it….wait for it….Seth is shaking, and, here he comes.

8:54pm — Closing with the in-no-way-surprising cheerful homecoming.  Is there any more tried and true recipe for TV drama?

8:57pm — Hey Fox, hit me up with the scenes from next week already.

8:59pm — Uh-oh, Houston, we’ve got a jealous poolboy on the horizon.  Be on alert.

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Less than 6 hours until showtime here on the West Coast, and the blog realm is alive with buzz about tonight’s season opener:

low culture: Guys, isn’t it so awesome that you can ogle the chicks on the show even though they’re underage? It’s like an hour-long suspension of all known statutory rape laws. They’re so much younger than your wife or girlfriend, and it’s a lot safer than talking to girls in AOL chat-rooms or flirting with your daughter’s friends. And you can totally masturbate to it if you watch it in your den with the door closed.

Gawker: Crack-addled hipster ‘tards, your night has arrived: The O.C. season premiere hits Fox tonight at 8.

Jim Treacher: Seth raised his tousled black curls from the wet beach. "Where am I," he croaked, wiping sand from the adorable cleft in his chin. His cheeks were even narrower than usual due to weeks on the catamaran without food, accentuating his fine (if gruesomely sunburned) features.

Gothamist: There is nothing that Seth Cohen can’t make better. We’ve been in posession of a tape of the first 2 episodes of this season and haven’t watched it yet (because who owns a VCR anymore?!) so we’ll be watching this tonight (read: do not call us between the hours of 8 and 9.)

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Well, OC day here at ToGawp is past the halfway mark, and no signs of slowing down.  Less than 5 hours on the East Coast, less than 8 on the West Coast until the big kickoff episode.  Can all of you crack-addled hipster ‘tards handle the wait much longer?

Here are the highlights to look forward to this afternoon on The O.C.’s ToGawp Takeover:

– Season 2 Drinking Game, Vol. 1 should be up by 4p.m. (pacific), so all the East Coasters can be ready to rock by 8p.m.

– The Main Event — we’ll be liveblogging through all the madness of the season premiere.  Don’t try to stop us.  Seriously….we’ve already survived one intervention.  What makes you think you’ll fare any better?

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Missed some or all of the first season of The O.C.?   There isn’t much time to spare, but fortunately, we have you covered, with a sort of Cliffs Notes-style review of Season One, to get you ready for tonight’s action:

Obviously you know that The O.C. follows a pack of Newport Beach teens and their parents around in their often hideously spoiled existence.  You’ve got the three Newport natives–Seth, Marissa, and Summer–and the outsider, Ryan.  There was another, Luke, but he found out his dad was gay and slept with the mother of his ex-girlfriend (Marissa), and got a DUI, so he decided to go to Portland.  (Hey, it worked wonders for Rasheed Wallace.)  You also have some beautiful people (and Peter Gallagher’s eyebrows) playing Seth and Marissa’s parents.  Some others come and go, but this pretty much covers the krux of this dramatical conceit.

Last year, the show’s extended, 27-episode first season ended with Ryan was heading back to the 909 with Teresa, a.k.a. his baby’s Inland Empire-based momma; Seth was heading into open water on his catamaran, bringing along less luggage than the TV cast that famously took a 3-hour tour; Marissa was settling in to her new home at Caleb Nichol’s poor-man’s Aaron Spelling mansion and cozying up to a bottle of gin; and Summer was…..well, off being ditzy and hot all by her lonesome, with her boyfriend Seth out on the aforementioned 3-hour (or more) tour on his dingy.

So it’s safe to say that last year ended on quite the down-note. Then again, if you had the rollercoaster year that these kids had (the whole Inland Empire transplant, Marissa’s parents divorce, Luke’s dad’s gayness, Summer falling in love with a nerd, crazy-ass Oliver waving a gun around, Seth getting some, the whole gang seeing Rooney (yes, THE Rooney) live)….well, you were overdue for a slump of some sort.

This takes us up to tonight’s beginning episode.  Did we skip over a few details?  Probably.  But trust us, it’s not exactly densely-layered, complicated character drama here….you’ll be on your feet in no time.

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