{ togawp } – hollywood’s secret sauce

March 10
We should have known just how big Lindsay was going to be….she had her own stalker all the way back in the pre-Mean Girls days.

MARCH

APRIL
April 30
Mean Girls hits theaters…ladies and gentlemen, the Lohan juggernaut has officially launched.

MAY
May 1
Lohan does Saturday Night Live…seeing as Lorne and Tina had a vested interest in this one, it’s no surprise that SNL pulls out all the stops for Lindsay’s "coming out party".

May ongoing
The Lindsay Lohan breast phenomenon is officially in high gear.

May 23
Lohan family throw-down (at bro’s First Communion….classy-style)

JUNE
June 10
Lohan hosts the MTV Movie Awards, as MTV helps to extend the life of Mean Girls….an MTV Films production.  Haven’t you heard?–it’s all the rage–Lindsynergy.

June 28
Womens’ bag-maker Dooney & Bourke selects Lindsay as their new spokesperson, hopping on board the Lohan train just in time to roll out a line of bags that would makes us wistful for the United Colors of Benetton.

JULY
July 2
The day perverts around the country have been salivating over….Lindsay turns 18….celebrates by, surprise, getting shit-bombed.

AUGUST

SEPTEMBER
September 21
Lohan accepts a role as a PR flack:

Can 18 year-old Lindsay Lohan pull off her upcoming role as a New York publicist? Well, she drinks, she smokes, and her breasts might not be real — yeah, we think she’ll be fine.

OCTOBER
October 13
As if she didn’t have enough other shit to deal with, Lindsay’s dad is officially wacko:

Lindsay Lohan’s dad, Michael, teeters on the border of batshit insane. Mom Dina has taken out an order of protection against him while Lindsay tries to focus on her work with cinematic masterpiece Herbie the Love Bug.

October 25
Lohan hospitalized for "exhaustion".

NOVEMBER
November 11
Gents, start your engines….Fez and Lindsay are "OFFICIALLY" no more.

November ongoing
Lindsay has a bit of a rough going with the whole Fez breakup.

Thanksgiving weekend
Lohan and friends get blunted, take pictures; oh, the milestones of youth.

DECEMBER
December 6
Gasp!  Lohan gets caught lip-syncing (a la Ashlee) on Good Morning America

December 7
Lohan’s album, Speak, hits. 

December 11
Lohan cameo on Colin Farrell’s SNL hosting….afterwards, she and Colin get down:

Say cheese and run for your lives! There was a paparazzi melee in the wee hours Sunday at Compass during a party for the "Saturday Night Live" cast and crew. Lowdown hears that when guest host Colin Farrell bid goodnight to Lindsay Lohan, Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen and "SNL" alums Dan Aykroyd, Rob Schneider, Adam Sandler and Chris Rock, a pack of 40 rabid photos swarmed him at the door. After what was described as "an altercation," the hunky Irishman escaped. Around 4:30 a.m., restaurant staffers attempted to smuggle Lohan out the back door, only to be mobbed by another 15 or so shutterbugs, who surrounded Lohan’s SUV and started pushing and shoving. A fight broke out in the middle of the scrum – "fists and cameras were swinging," according to one witness – and police were called.

December 2-11

What a week.  Fortunately, Stereogum summarizes all the action for us:

December 19
Lindsay and Paris trapped in the T-Mobile store, after both losing their Sidekicks (God, T-Mobile, can you buy it this good?)

December 28
Conspiracy theories abound–did Lohan secretly get a reduction when she was hospitalized for exhaustion?

(more…)

Related:

Looks like Anna Nicole’s in the proverbial Texas poor house again; the controversial Entertainment Television stars $88 Million dollar Trust fund gets revoked.

Anna Nicole who was previously awarded $88 Million dollars in 2002 for her ludicrous marriage to then 90 year old baron J Howard Marshall II was informed she is no longer entitled to any money. The feud began when Anna Nicole stated that elder J Howard promised her half of his oil fortunes, approx. 1.6 Billion USD. His two sons, J Howard Marshall III and E Pierce Marshall have been bitterly fighting to regain control of the fortune, and recently have won their case.

Anna we here at ToGawp wish you all the best, and we will keep taking TrimSpa.com to help your pseudo defense fund.

Related:

Looks like the Beckhams are fuming over the recent guests behavior at their sons christening. Posh Spice stated that the Christening of her two sons was a high point in a year of misery – but it still appeared to be a day marred by feuding.

Guest Liz Hurley defied pregnant Victoria’s request that female guests wear "modest attire", in an ivory satin off-the-shoulder gown showing maximum cleavage.

Victoria was also understood to be upset with Elton John about comments he made to a magazine about the "pretty awful" time the Beckham’s marriage had suffered, blaming Posh for not moving to Madrid with David.
Nevertheless, he, along with partner David Furnish, was made godfather to both five-year-old Brooklyn and two-year-old Romeo.

Both David’s divorced parents and Victoria’s folks attended the christening at Beckingham Palace in Herfordshire, although the families are reported to be feuding.

Ted Beckham dismissed reports he was initially left off the guest list as "nonsense".

A spokesperson for the Beckhams denied they had renewed their vows at the event but the couple were said to have spoken of their love for each other while in the chapel.

[ionline]

Related:

Stand back – Hottie lesbian Portia De Rossi (Arrested Development) and Ellen DeGeneres are sleeping together. Both women have ended their long term relationships with significant others to further the devotion to eachother.

ToGawp staffers heard the real reason for the break is that DeGeneres is now deeply in love with de Rossi, the Australian-born "Arrested Development" hottie. Rumors about that De Rossi dumped her longtime gal pal, singer-songwriter Francesca Gregorini (Ringo Starr’s stepdaughter) to be with DeGeneres, a source close to the new couple told PAGE SIX’s Jared Paul Stern. The pair are now in DeGeneres’ house in the Hollywood Hills which Hedison left a couple weeks ago

[pagesix]

(more…)

Related:

Rumors here at Togawp have been swirling about that Anna Kournikova and her formerly-moled pop star boyfriend Enrique Iglesias since the two got busy in Enrique’s 2002 music video for his hit "Escape," and they have joked in the past about getting married. This time, however, it appears that there is no joke, at least according to insiders at Us Weekly.

US Weekly reports that the Russian tennis star was spotted wearing a band on her finger at a charity tennis event this weekend. According to the magazine, Kournikova, 23, was also heard telling attendees, "Enrique is great. Everything is awesome. We are married."

Congratulations Enrique she is quite a catch!

(more…)

Related:

If you’re one of the few people who still counts themselves in the ‘attracted to Britney Spears’ column, I think I may have found the nail in your proverbial Brit-fetish coffin:

Pop beauty Britney Spears’ smelly feet upset her fellow airplane passengers recently. The "Toxic" singer was flying from Los Angeles to New York with her husband Kevin Federline and decided to make herself more comfortable by removing her shoes. Unfortunately for her fellow passengers, Britney’s feet caused such a stink it wasn’t long before they were forced to complain to a stewardess. One says, "The smell was unbelievable. One woman had a word with the air hostess, then three or four others complained. "She looked pretty embarrassed as she tapped Britney on the shoulder and asked her very politely to put her shoes back on. "Britney went red, laughed and said her shoes made her feet stink. Thankfully she put them on. There’s no way we could have put up with that."

[from iMDB]

Related:

Call it the Internet rumor heard ’round the world (for this week)….this week
TVgasm, then Defamer,
then pretty much everyone reported that The O.C. will feature lesbian
action between two of its characters later this season:

Not content with with the current assortment of love triangles currently
permeating the show, the writers have decided that a good way to spark renewed
interest would be some hot girl-on-girl action(which is much better than the
corpse on corpse chemistry we currently witness).

While TVgasm doesn’t confirm anything outright, they do drop a mighty big
hint as to who we might see as part of the girl+girl equation:

…a certain waifish cast member with questionable acting skills and a deep
seated hatred of lawn
furniture decides to do a little experimenting with another member of the
fairer sex in the upcoming weeks of the show.

Trust us, ToGawp will stay on top of this story and make sure to give you
heads up, so you can all clear space on your TiVos for this can’t miss TV
event.

[from TVgasm via Defamer]

Related:

Alright, get your glasses ready….we give you the new rules of engagement for The O.C. Drinking Game, Season 2:

1.) New character introduction – 1 drink
Plenty of new characters will be joining the show in the first couple weeks….why bother to find out who they are?  Just take a drink and catch up with the densely-layered character development later.

2.) Marissa the Fish – 2 drinks
When last we saw Marissa, she was already swiftly making her way to the bottom of a bottle.  And judging by the previews, Season 2 has no intention of breaking her drinking stride.  So every time Marissa hits the bottle, drink.  If she happens to be drinking on a chaise lounge, go ahead and slam the rest of that drink.  (thanks, Jessica)

3.) Horseplay on the Pooldeck – 2 drinks
As we’ve mentioned, The O.C. is adding the old tried-and-true "hot poolboy" to spice things up in Season 2.  Naturally, plenty of sweat will be wiped from brows and shirts will be removed in slow-mo.  Any time the show indulges in a little poolboy man-flesh, take a couple swigs.

4.) Seth = Gilligan – 3 drinks
You have to figure some sort of Gilligan’s Island, 3-hour-tour reference is coming, right?  Assuming Josh Schwartz & Co. agree with us on this one, go ahead and take 1 drink for every hour of that famous boat tour upon any mention of Gilligan, the Skipper, or any other cast away.

5.) Mischa Barton gets trapped in a paper bag – finish your drink
It’s inevitable.  You will be watching the show, and find yourself overcome by a feeling to scream out "wow, Mischa Barton is a really terrible actress."  Whenever this all-too-understandable urge comes along, finish your drink and attempt to numb yourself to the B-grade acting skills.

UPDATES (11/19/04)
6.) Ryan gets wordy – 1 drink
Ever notice that Ryan rarely says more than a few words at a time?  So whenever Chino breaks that always-elusive 2-sentence barrier, let’s all make sure to take a drink, to salute his verbosity.  (Thanks, Christine C.)

7.) All ages clubs suck – 1 drink
We will soon be introduced to "The Bait Shop", Newport’s finest all ages club.  Only, we all know that all ages clubs, and their lack of alcohol, suck.  So every time a Mountain Dew or other non-alcoholic drink is served, take a drink in honor of all the drinks our O.C. friends won’t be having at The Bait Shop.

READER SUGGESTIONS (complements of Marc P.)
8.) Show’s Title mentioned – 1 drink
They must
have said ‘new era’ a dozen times, and conveniently it was the title of
last week’s episode. They also did the same with ‘The Way We Were’ a
few weeks back. Check your local listings for titles, then drink in
honor of the new heights in creativity.

9.) Jimmy Cooper is cocky – 1 drink
Jimmy Coop has done a total 180 from his ‘hesitant’ days….he’s a
regular old-school Newport frat dog all of a sudden. Thus, we must
toast the newfound spring in his step with a drink everytime Jimmy
displays his newfound egotism.

10.) New Slang – 1 drink
Whenever the cultural trendmakers over at The O.C.
drop some some hip new slang term on us, we ought to drink, to
celebrate our good fortunes (you know, having such access to such
socially-beneficial entertainment), one time for each occurance. (Example – "group hang")

11.) Trainspotting – Make some one else take a drink
Frightening as it may be, without question, The O.C.
is THE new breeding ground for hip music. They’ve managed to shame the
likes of MTV and RollingStone by actually finding success in
introducing new rock bands to the public (shocker). If you are cool
enough to be able to trainspot (call the song title and/or band name)
playing at any time, you can make someone else drink as a reward.

More soon to follow….in the meantime, if you have rules of your own, send them to tips@thechron.net.

DISCLAIMER: The O.C. Drinking Game is for entertainment purposes only.  So don’t go drinking yourself sick just b/c some stupid website told you to.

Related: