{ togawp } - hollywood’s secret sauce

0 stars
This movie had the
absolute worst special effects I’ve ever seen for a theatrical release
in the past decade.  They don’t even deserve to be called
"special" because they’re so hilariously bad.   It’s just
some 7th Heaven guy hangin in some perfectly decrepit house full of
dead kids and the worst CGI Boogeyman you’ve ever seen.  These
movies need to [...]

2 stars (**)
Remakes
are just an excuse to pump old movies full of all the sex and violence
of today’s standards and this one is a prime example.  The
body count went from 0 to 10 in the first 5 minutes and through the
course of the movie I lost track of just how many people were being
shot in [...]

In case you hadn’t heard, Tara Reid has finally found her calling.  The party monster has signed on as the new host of E!’s Wild On series, filling the skimpy bikini once worn by Brooke Burke.  And in what might be the quote of the week, Tara has described the casting choice quite aptly (video/Real [...]

Bikini-clad and preggers, Britney Spears and her "Impregnator" hubby K-Fed ("stars" of the UPN show Britney & Kevin: Chaotic) were recently spotted lounging at the Ritzy Marina Del Rey gobbling up all the poolside Bar munchies in sight.   Mrs. Federline was smiling at the numerous pool-side gawkers, proudly displaying her big belly-bump and voluptuous new [...]

1 star (*)
This is just the white man’s "Ray" with less heroin and more gay Kevin Spacey.
Release date: By 07 June, 2005Current mood: gay

3 stars (***)
This is not the heartwarming family holiday film that it was promoted
to be. Granted it is a total Tim Burton rip-off, but entertaining none
the less. Finally, Jim Carrey (or his manager) has realized that all
his over-dramatic Oscar bid films are not earning him any trophies,
and that he should stop playing sappy and [...]

10.  Julie Cooper arrested for Caleb’s murder, meets up with Oliver Trask
in the Newport Beach city jail, promptly sleeps with him, attempts to talk him into helping her break out–all in an ode to Tango & Cash.
9.  Hayley returns to announce that she’s been working as the concierge
in a hotel on the North Shore of [...]

You have to hand it to Nate McMillian, coach of the Seattle Supersonics, he’s taken a team picked to finish last and turned them into a contender.  Perhaps the coach of the year balloting should be revisited, now that Nate is using strategies spanning two continents.
That of course would be the tablo-blitz of Eva Longoria [...]

Rest assured, we are working on a recap of Britney & Kevin: Chaotic.  But like a punch that gets you right in the solarplexes, we’re just a touch out of breath after watching last night’s hour-long premiere.  Check back soon for the Gawp CHAOTIC rehashing/review.

2 1/2 stars (** 1/2)
I knew I would love Phantom of the Opera when I saw the
preview in the theater and could not stop laughing.  At the end of the
preview when it said "A Joel Schumacher Film", I almost choked on a
Raisenette.  For those of you not familiar with his work, Mr.
Schumacher is the dinosaur [...]