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Archive for June, 2005

IS ANGELINA PREGNANT WITH BRAD PITTS BABY?!?!

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Angelinajoliepartying Stop the presses, we have recently been asked to confirm if "Angelina Jolie is pregnant?"
Rumours are flying around Hollywood and Americas #1 Tabloid Star Magazine that Angelina Jolie is pregant with Brad Pitt’s baby – talk about beautiful children!

The shocking news follows months of ‘are they/aren’t they’ dating speculation.
The uber-beautiful couple have so far denied all claims that they are enjoying a relationship.
According to the New York Post, Angelina is three month’s gone.

Only last week the pair were seen playing together with Angelina’s adopted son, Maddox.

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Related:
  • BRAD AND ANGELINA KISSING IN PUBLIC – CAUGHT IN PARIS!
  • BRAD & ANGELINAS “TERRIFYING” AFRICAN SEX!
  • BRAD & ANGELINA MOVE IN TOGETHER

  • HERMES ISSUES FULL APOLOGY TO DAYTIME DIVA OPRAH WINFREY

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    Oprah-Hermes-shoppingYou have to be kidding, Hermes the brand of all luxury brands who sports a "closed" waiting list on their Birkin Bag has just bent over publicly in response t0 Oprah’s recent media tirade. Just in case you have no idea what we’re talking about and you were trapped on a desert island, Oprah feels discriminated against because she wasn’t allowed to enter the Hermes store "after closing time." Now Oprah has twisted the silly story around and is trying to make a "racial" play on the fact that she’s "black" – OMFG.

    "Hermes regrets not having been able to accommodate Ms. Winfrey and
    her team and to provide her with the service and care that Hermes
    strives to provide to each and every one of its customers worldwide
    ,"
    the store said in a recent statement.

    "Hermes apologizes for any offense taken due to such circumstances."

    We wish Hermes would have stood firm on their recent decision not allowing an ego bloated star like Oprah into their store; but we understand they also want a portion of her $225 Million dollar a year paycheck. Where’s our Birkin bags? Three please…
    [Y!] [CNN] [BBC] [LuX]

    Related:
  • OPRAH SELLS OUT TO XM!
  • Apology To Britney
  • KIRSTIE ALLEY LOST 55LBS & PUNKED US ALL!

  • CruisethedoctorTom Cruise has taken this whole "robbing the cradle" escapade way too far. In a exclusive MSNBC one on one interview Cruise proclaimed to millions of Americans that "Psychiatry is a pseudo science," and began scolding Matt Laure about his beliefs in the Doctoral establishment. Cruise then went on a tirade of rhetorical banter telling Matt "You don’t know the history of Psychiatry, I do."

    Did Tom Cruise get a Doctoral degree in medicine that all of us didn’t know about? If he didn’t we here at ToGawp feel he needs to shut the fu*k up. Seriously, what kind of wacko religion is Scientology, where you think you evolved from clams, and have to ride a hot air balloon for the measly price of $350K just to learn the meaning of life? Give us a frigging break.

    There are hundreds of thousands of patients worldwide who lead healthier and more productive lives because they are taking what Mr. Cruise calls "mind-altering, anti-psychotic" drugs.  These drugs are regulated and pass  federal quality control checks – unlike your QUACKY Scientology religion.

    We have no idea what the hell Tom thinks he’s going to accomplish with this tirade, but we suggest he take his post-engagement energy and focus it on banging his tall glass of water fiance Kate(ie) Holmes and keeping her happy. Tom, listen up we all know you really wear size 8 shoes,so just how do you sleep at night knowing Kate(ie) is still unsatisfied?
    Toys?
    We thought so…[defamer][drudge]

    Related:
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  • Britney And K-Fed’s First Appearance
  • Matt Dillon Sighting

  • Rumors Jennifer Aniston is again dating Vince Vaughn have Hollywood gossip circles buzzing with intrigue. The two were recently photographed hugging each other on the set of upcoming
    movie The Break Up. We covered the two after their Valentines Day date back in February, we guess they’ve worked very diligently to keep their love under the "paparazzi radar".

    While Angelina Jolie and her new lover Mr. Pitt are playing house, Aniston has been concentrating on her acting career
    since their public split earlier this year. Recently published photos from the Daily Express show the co-stars touching each other intimately. One shot has both of Vince’s arms
    wrapped around Aniston, while she has both of her hands resting comfortably on his
    thigh.

    A movie insider was quoted saying, "They looked to be really
    enjoying each others company. They were laughing and smiling and were very
    tactile together. There was definitely some chemistry between them."

    Jenandvinceontheset_2

    Aniston still denies publicly that there is any relationship between her and Vaughn, although we think these pics speak for themselves. But,  the funniest photo in our opinion shows the two walking side by side, and puts in perspective the whopping 1 1/2 ft height difference between the two lovebirds, we wonder if that makes for some kinky bedroom antics. [TS] [VV] [411] [AC]

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    Related:
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  • DERAILED = 3 stars ***
  • Comedy Central puts Jennifer Aniston in the Simpsons Movie

  • HOLMES SAID YES – TOM CRUISE AND KATIE ENGAGED!

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    Tombrainwashedkatiedontdoit I guess the last 2 months have truly been "Magical" for this pair because it’s official Tom Cruise has proposed to Katie Holmes - AND SHE SAID YES!

    Turns out Mr. Mission Impossible popped the question at the Eiffel Tower in Paris.

    Mr. Risky Business leaked the marital news himself at a news conference sitting alongside Katie, who btw was wearing an enormous diamond ring, Tom stated: "Yes, I proposed to her. It was early this morning at the Eiffel Tower, so I haven’t slept at all… Today is a magnificent day for me, I’m engaged to a magnificent woman."

    When asked why he proposed at the Eiffel Tower, Tom remarked: "I’ve never been to the Eiffel Tower. It’s Paris, it’s a beautiful city, it’s very romantic."

    Although they’ve only dated since April (wtf?), Katie and Tom have constantly had to prove their relationship isn’t a publicity stunt. From gushing on Oprah Winfrey (Tom) to gushing at premieres (Katie), the pair can’t keep their feelings to themselves.

    This will be Tom’s third wedding, he was married to actress Mimi Rogers from 1987 to 1990, then Nicole Kidman from 1990 to 2001. According to Sify.com Nicole has already "given her blessing" to the union and wishes her ex-beau "only the best."

    I wonder what Keri Russell thinks of all this…and will Katie ever remember how she met her future Husband Mr. Cruise? Btw – The Bosh thinks the engagement happened in Rome…not Paris.
    [mtv] [nw] [msn]

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    Related:
  • KATIE HOLMES ENGAGED, MEN EVERYWHERE DEPRESSED
  • TOM CRUISE TELLS KATIE HOLMES TO FOCUS ON MOTHERHOOD
  • TOM CRUISE AND KATIE HOLMES ARE SHAGGING TOGETHER!

  • STAR WARS: EPISODE III – REVENGE OF THE SITH

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    3 stars (***)
     
    This movie, while better than episodes I and II, is still
    kinda boring.  George Lucas needs to wake the fuck up and realize that
    he should put more Wookie battle scenes and less
    intergalactic holographic conference scenes.  What is his problem?  We
    don’t give a shit about the Republic Trade Federation and tax policies
    and all that bullshit, we want to see Chewbacka throw down!  We want to
    see Annikan fuck shit up, Jedi style!  We want to see Queen Amidala
    naked!  We want to see Jar Jar get horribly mutilated!  C’mon George,
    listen to your fans for once!

    The fight scenes with the light sabres were cool, but I
    swear to God Hayden Christensen’s head is fucking gigantic!!!  It’s
    right up there with John Travolta and Pat Sayjack!  And Natalie Portman
    trying to act like a glowing pregnant woman was terrifying and
    hilarious at the same time.  I’m sure I would act all weird too if I
    had to do a romantic scene with a giant headed Jedi in a computer
    generated environment.  I usually think Ewen Macgregor looks like a
    serpent but in this movie Obi Wan was kinda hot in a futuristic Bee
    Gee’s kind of way.  And that Frankenstein scene towards the end with
    Darth Vader was unanymously rediculous.  All in all, Revenge of the
    Sith was okay, but since I got to see it with a friend who lost a bet
    and had to dress up as C3PO on the 3rd weekend of it’s release made it
    way more hilarious!
    Related:
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  • Star Wars: Episode III 1/2 – Vengeance Of The Squirrels
  • ROB SCHNEIDER GETS REVENGE ON CRITIC GOLDSTEIN

  • HITCH

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    2 stars (**)

    The fact that this movie is based around a "date doctor" for dorky/fat straight guys is entirely pathetic.  Y’all got eharmony.com and
    match.com

    and lava lounge and you STILL can’t find some desperate girl to
    tolerate your ass, so you have to go and hire Will Fucking Smith to
    teach you some smooth moves just to get laid?  Give me a fucking break,
    that is so sad.  Imagine being gay and only having super slutty, PCP
    smoking, hair highlighting, spandex-shirt wearing, queeny fake ass
    power bottoms to choose from?!  You think you guys have problems?
    Jigga please.  All you have to do is drive through West Hollywood and
    laugh your ass off at the burnt out twinks just to realize how easy you
    retarded heteros have it.  Go fuck yourselves!  God forbid you’re so
    retarded that you might actually be taking notes during this movie.
    Hitch is fucking bullshit and if you like it then you’re either a
    stupid straight girl who still believes in magical fairy tales or
    you’re her weak ass boyfriend who is just waiting for it to be over so
    you can get some shitty head.

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  • CURSED

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    1 star (*)

    Werewolves have scared the shit out of me ever since I
    saw the Michael Jackson "Thriller" video and puked all over the
    place during his change into a werewolf.  It wasn’t until my college
    years that I was actually able to watch the video again and face my
    ultimate fear.  I even considered joining the "Starting Over" house to
    deal with my psychological problem but recently I have come to terms
    with it by myself and physically portrayed the Michael Jackson/werewolf
    changeling on All Hallow’s Eve 2004!

    As for "Cursed", it totally blew, which is obvious
    considering it was shelved for a year or two before they decided to
    release it.  All of this is apparent when you take into consideration
    the cameos and guest stars such as Shannon Elizabeth & Mya as
    random victims, Portia de Rossi as a gypsy for 3 minutes, Lance
    Bass plays an actual celebrity and Scott Baio plays himself, (getting
    bumped on late night TV for Carrot Top no less!)  Christina Ricci’s
    character plays a young booking executive at the Late Late Show With
    Craig Kilborn, which he hasn’t hosted for a year now so that’s totally
    outdated and Craig also plays himself in the film.  There is a werewolf
    on the loose in the Hollywood hills and it’s terrorizing Tinsel Town.
    Christina Ricci and her dorky teenage brother get scratched and slowly
    begin to realize their worsening condition while living in their quaint
    house on Mulholland Drive,… how realistic.  I believe in werewolves
    more than a 20 something talk show exec and her teen bro living in a
    house on Mulholland.

    As the movie awkwardly progresses we find out there are
    multiple werewolves and they have to kill the first one to lift the
    curse on all the others who have been bitten.  Within this search
    we encounter a gawnt publicist werewolf who attacks when referred to as
    a "boney ass with bad skin."  Needless to say the whole thing is
    totally predictable and even draws a paralell between the dorky teen
    coming out as a werewolf while his jock nemesis comes out as a gay.
    The best line in the movie, not including any of Scott Baio’s lines, is
    "I guess there’s no such thing as safe sex with a werewolf."  There is
    also noticable PETA poster placement, just to reassure that no actual
    werewolves were harmed during the making of this film, thanks Wes
    Craven.
    Related:
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  • JESSICA ALBA AND HER FANTASTIC TWINS DEBUT – MTV MUSIC AWARDS

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    Jessicaalbabreasts2_3Looks like Jessica Alba came out with all her might, not only as a super hero – but also as a sexy superstar of Hollywood.

    This photo taken at the MTV Music Video Red Carpet Extravaganza caught Ms. Alba bearing more than her charm, as you can see she also was seen with her beautiful "twins" showing through!

    We hate to go there Jessica, but you wore the dress – it’s our journalistic and civic duty to report it to the public.

    By the way, did we mention it was a bit of a "nip"le in the air? [sf] [fb] [ego] [dv]

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  • Jessica Simpson’s Self-Love

  • D.E.B.S.

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    1 star (*)
     
    D.E.B.S. is an anagram for Don’t Even Bother Seeing
    Related:
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