{ togawp } – hollywood’s secret sauce

It’s official folks – according to The Sun, Angelina and Brad
are Moving in together in an  undisclosed location in Hollywood. Funniest part about the whole story, Brad and Angie still haven’t publically disclosed that they’re officially dating.

Ironically enough they’re now living down the road from Brad’s Ex. Jennifer’s Malibu home.  ToGawp has also revealed that Jen is literally "dreading" the day she accidentally runs- into Mr. and Mrs. Smith in person. 

We
can feel Jen’s pain – imagine being confronted with the world’s most
beautiful woman every time you stroll down the local store in your sweats just to get a pint of Boddingtons?

Heartbroken Jen lives a mere 20
minutes away from The Brad and Angelina, stay strong Jennifer your doing the right thing, just turn the other cheek. [et]

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0 stars ()

Don’t get anywhere near this DVD.  It will cause severe migraines,
abdominal pains, diarrhea, nausea, hepatitis A, B, and C, gonorrhea,
the common cold, dementia, menopause, west Nile virus, mad cow disease
and even that new bird flu from China.

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2 stars (**)

Un4tunately Fantastic 4 is 4 kids.  When a 1 minute preview for a movie
blows, you know there’s 99 more minutes that can’t be much better.
Within the first 4 minutes there’s a pitch to a millionaire to send 4
scientists into space to fuck around with some equipment: Jessica Alba
(who still can’t act her way out of a paper bag), some dorky guy, some
hot guy and the 4th being Michael Chiklis from "The Shield" who is
overrated and a total asshole because he and his ugly daughters cut in
front of me at the Pink’s hot dog stand at the Scooby Doo movie after
party…fuckin bald headed dick.  At least he’s covered in a plastery,
rock-looking costume for most of the movie so I didn’t have to look at
his stupid ass.  Anyway the rest of the movie is like one long montage
of each character discovering and playing with their powers to the tune
of shitty TRL 4th grade pop punk songs and even a G-Unit song at the
end, what?  There’s only 2 or 3 actual action sequences where the
Fantastic 4 is actually in action, otherwise they are just trying to
get along as roomies and adjust to their new-found celebrity status.
Kerry Washington (Save the Last Dance, She Hate Me, Ray) randomly shows
up as this pointless blind woman who falls for The Thing at some dive
bar.  She is in the movie for like 4 minutes of screen time, none of
which make sense but all of which are hilarious.  If you’re 4 or 14 you
might be all 4 the Fantastic 4, otherwise 4get it.

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Rumor around tinseltown is that Tom’s Ex Nicole is about to "disappear from the limelight" – and her close friends believe it’s because she wants get away from it all and find love, and is "sick of it all"

Nicole recently told Closer magazine. “You won’t see me for a long time,”“It could be a year, it could be two.” Leading us to believe she may be depressed?!

In the piece Nicole added:  “I’m not going to give you my holiday schedule but there’ll be a few!  It’ll be a while before I come back.”

Nicoles self chosen "fall from grace" is just one example that although Nicole might appear to have everything, happiness is the one thing that’s proving illusive for the beautiful starlet… [hp] [hc] [rm]

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Imagine: The horrors of an engagement ring that’s too big and soooo heavy that your delicate heiress fingers find it too painful to wear.

Well that’s exactly the problem that ultra-rich spioled brat heiress Paris Hilton has had to endure, doesn’t that story make you want to puke.

Paris’ fiancé Paris Latsis (however you pronounce his last name??), originally got the spoilt It-girl a $4.5million ring when he proposed last month.(Can you tell he hasn’t had to work for it yet?…mhm) 

Instead
of being excited when she first initially received the ring, story goes that the Heiress said the ring was "too heavy and hurt her finger". It was also rumored that Paris had fears that the ring would entice theft or robbery.

So her Greek Heiress man-money-machine kindly this week downgraded it for her –
and according to The Sun, she’s now sporting a smaller, platinum
Cartier ring for "everyday use".

We need to go empty our vomit bucket as that story made us want to throw ourselves from our15th story headquarters.

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We are dying over these recent photo arrivals from TheSuperficial (thanks guys), as if Tara Reid’s transition from American Pie temptress into ultimate whore with freaky nipples wasn’t evident enough, here are some pictures of her and
Paris Hilton looking slutty as ever at the VIP Room.

From the looks of
things, maybe she should have put off that new boob job and gotten some
work done on her ass (which we’ve heard she likes the rear).

Words of advice girls: If you’re going to be stumbling around drunk in
clubs letting random people grab your butt, maybe put some effort into
making it at least slightly "hard to get" this eliminates the entire feeling of flawless beauty. I think Tara needs some Dove firming cream from the looks of these photos. Honestly though Tara here’s a real shout out, to keep up the drunken charades we love every revealing moment; and if you keep hanging around Paris soon-nuff we’ll see the entire enchilada!

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Lindsay Lohan may have finally found true love.  The lucky guy is Lingerie Bowl founder and "21st Century Hugh Hefner" (self-anointed, via press release) Mitch Mortaza (seen here with female guests at Bill Maher’s Birthday party).

The only problem is, Lindsay has to leave town, for her Herbie: Fully Loaded European press swing.   And after last week’s Page Six report (which we naturally can’t link to b/c of Page Six’s lunatic archival system) that Mitch was seen flirting with Ashlee Simpson, the talk around town is, L-Lo isn’t so sure she can trust Mr. Lingerie Bowl while she’s away.  So she’s done what any sensible girl does–she’s asked her girlfriends to keep an eye out for any Ashlee/Mitchee sightings around town.

But being the Lindsay Morgan Lohan that we know and love, she didn’t stop there.  No, according to exclusive Gawp sources,  she has gone as far as to contact L.A.’s big club promoters, to ask them to keep an eye out for Mortaza and Simpson at their clubs.   Meanwhile, Linds reportedly issued the ultimatum to Mortaza–any funny stuff, and she’ll fly back from her European junket faster than you can say "cockblock".

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3 stars (***)

I know the whole "Brangelina" thing is a publicity stunt to promote
this movie, and while obvious, it’s still the hottest celebrity uber
couple anyone could imagine so of course we’re all interested in their
loud African sex.  Brad is always cool and even cooler since he
ditched that frigid Jennifer Aniston bitch.  Angelina has made
some pretty shitty movies but now that she’s single, an ambassador and
buying 3rd world babies, she is officially A-list.  I bet if they
did a "Cribs" episode for Angelina, instead of showing off a garage
full of expensive cars she would show off a playpen full of minority
children she had purchases from around the world.  As for the
movie, yeah its cheesey and hoakey but it definately has it’s
moments.  Adam Brody is in a couple scenes to try and wrangle in
that OC audience but  not enough to see it for him alone.
The action scenes are well done (especially the 20 minute underwear
fight that starts at home and ends on a freeway) and there are a lot of
funny parts as well but I did fall asleep for about 15 minutes because
I saw a midnight show and the whole "we both know that we both know
we’re secret spys" thing was dragging out for a solid hour!  The
entire premise is rediculous so if you surrender your intelligence at
the concession stand then you should be somewhat entertained.  All
in all it’s a stupid sexy funny action flick, worth at least a rental
when it hits dvd in a matter of months.

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One thing is for certain Sharon Osbourne knows how to make that dysfunctional family a buck, and that’s no joke.

Following their extremely successful Family expose, The
Osbourne’s, the family are now going to turn the MTV made famous goth-house  into a full fledged  tourist
attraction.

One source told The Sun: “Sharon and Ozzy are becoming very
frustrated that they cannot sell their house. Fans are always turning outside…
it has become a regular stop on Los Angeles tourist trips.

“It could be a
money-spinner given the number of people who already show up for a gawp and knock
at the door”

Sharon and Ozzy are planning to move to a more private
(albeit smaller) location in Beverly Hills,  this way they can lead their lives in privacy while offering the  fans a way to be nosy!

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Let it not be said that Scarlett Johansson isn’t dedicated to her craft. 

For her latest film The Island, Scarlett reportedly insisted upon being topless in a bedroom scene.  Scarlett told director Michael Bay:

"Women don’t normally sleep in a bra I can’t wake up in this scene wearing a bra, it’s ridiculous!"

Kudos to Scarlett for her commitment to reality–we’re sure it will pay off throughout the film, from the rooftop freefall scene to the flying motorcycle chase sequence–and to her publicist, for managing to get a "Scarlett topless" headline circulating the ‘Net in the week before her client’s release. 

Scarlett Johansson’s topless demand [FemaleFirst.co.uk]

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