{ togawp } – hollywood’s secret sauce

1. Himbo

The male version of a bimbo, whore or slut.

Are Paris Hilton, Jessica Simpson and the other slew of empty vessels out and their male counterparts in? The new word, himbo is hitting Hollywood faster than a freight train making everyone more than fair game.

One would not have to put too much thought into the meaning of himbo without Kevin Federline popping up as first in mind. He sleeps with pop star to fund his flailing rap career and makes Jessica Simpson look like an MIT grad. Britney’s definition of Kevin as “simple,” is really only short for simply stupid.

K-Fed easily wins as himbo boy toy number 1.

Another version of himbo is simply, guilt by bimbo association, proximity or affiliation with bimbos of any nature. Like Nick Lachey, for instance. Behind every dim witted female is typically an equally dim witted counterpart or enabler.

So, Nicky, What’s Left of Me is the soul desire to give you the number 2 spot.

Wilmer Valderrama easily swoops in as himbo number 3. He has more celeb starlets passing through his life than a VIP lounge, all of which, probably have the combined IQ of 96.

And anyone who creates a show basis on Your Mamma jokes, gets a free pass into Himbo Hall of Fame.

Another version of a himbo is a man who needs others to make them look good. Like Ben Affleck, for example. Without Matt Damon and J. Gar the poor boy would have no one to wipe his dribble. I think his portayal of the low-functioning, blue collar sidekick in Good Will Hunting is probably about as close to reality as it gets.

Ben, you’re number 4 buddy, so just smile and look pretty for the camera and…don’t speak.

And last but not least…I hate to do it but…Ryan Phillipe. You all know my affection for the Reese but Ryan gets as fluffy teen idol, boy toy as it gets. Sure, he’s hunky and he seems like a nice guy but all I gotta say is it’s a good thing he’s well kept.

So, number 5, the maker of cute babies, Ryan Phillipe.

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Ha Ha, are my first words. I’m just going to have to spend money to see what kind of train wreck this will be. Mmmm, so, did he realize that without his dating shenanigans, no one really cared about his acting career anymore? Yeah, okay, news flash, Ben Afprick of Beniffer fame, will be directing the film Gone, Baby, Gone.

It gets even better, Ben will be putting pen to paper for the screenplay based on a novel by Dennis Lehane. I can only imagine that writers around town are either groaning or laughing at this new Ben vehicle.

Call them haters, call them liars, call them what you will, but the rumor around town for ages was that Ben and Matt came forward with their Oscar winner Good Will Hunting…but had very little to do with the final product. Which, if you consider they haven’t written anything else in, oh, ten years, the mind does begin to wonder.

So good luck Bennie, you tool bag. All the best to ya.

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Ben Affleck has got engaged to Jennifer Garner, according to rumours flying around the Hollywood grapevine.

Friends say the Daredevil star proposed to his fellow superhero Garner (she played Elektra in the movie adaptation) yesterday, on the occasion of her 33rd birthday.

News Of The World reported that Affleck planned to pack the engagement ring in a series of "Russian doll"-style boxes. "The first is so big he’s hiring a truck to pick it up," a friend said. "Jennifer will think he’s bought her a car until she gets down to the tin." [Y!]

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Hollywood hunk Ben Affleck might have been named the sexiest man alive, but his co-star Michael Clarke Duncan warns Affleck’s female fans that the star is not at all impressive if you see him naked.

"Don’t get me wrong, ladies, Ben is cool, but I’ve seen the guy naked in Armageddon and c’mon, man! I was not impressed at all, man! I was like, ‘This is it, huh? This is it right here?’ Conatctmusic.com quoted Duncan as saying.

Duncan said that he’d be more deserving of a title like ‘the sexiest man’, adding, "I have bulging biceps. I’ll take my turn, I’ll wait." [WebIndia]

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I can definitely say that I’ve never been a Ben Affleck lover.  That being said, he’s also never really inspired all that much of ANY emotion (love, hate, disgust, etc.) in me.  In fact, I think he could be downright good if given the right role (boldly arrogant yet less-than-brilliant villain-type)…just watch his best work to date, Dazed and Confused, and you can see what I mean.  Affleck is great at being that big meathead schmo that gets his comeuppance.

Apparently David LaChappelle agreed with me, so much so that he decided to enact a little comeuppance for his girl J-Lo on the cover of Rolling Stone this week.  YIKES! 

Sure, Daredevil and Gigli were awful, but did Ben Affleck really deserve this?  He looks like a pissed-off roadie for RATT, who just woke up with a temporary tattoo from a Froot Loops box on his arm.

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Ben Affleck is a brave man. The actor, recently separated from Jennifer Lopez, is reported by IMDb to be planning to poke fun of their high profile romance on national TV. The Hollywood hunk is hosting the US comedy show Saturday Night Live this weekend to promote his latest movie Jersey Girl, which he co-stars with J-Lo. However, instead of following the usual guidelines it seems Ben is happy to take the micky out of the Bennifer relationship. "What I really want to do is get Kevin Smith to do a cameo during the monologue at the beginning of the show and say, ‘Thanks for ruining my movie and making me cast your girlfriend!’ That would be a funny bit."

Yeah, right Ben, not as funny as when J-Lo gets hold of you…

Meanwhile Jen has been seen ’round the block’ with old lover Marc Anthony. The couple shared a hand-holding dinner at . However, according to the New York Post they weren’t the only ones enjoying a romantic Mynt, South Beach night at the restaurant. Naomi Campbell was also there playing tonsil tennis with Tommy Lee…

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In what must be a surprise to no one, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez’s magnum opus, Gigli dominated the Razzie Award nominations, the anti-Oscar award that annually honors the worst major motion pictures of the year.

Also bestowed with the hallowed Razzie nominations were Demi Moore, Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore (Charlie’s Angels), Mike Myers (Cat in the Hat), and Ashton Kutcher (for more colossally-awful movies–4–than I care to type).

See the full list of nominees here.

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I don’t hate J. LO, and I certainly don’t have a liking for Ben in any fashion. Yet, I find myself thinking this guy, Affleck made a smart decision. J. Lo thinks her ass is worth $24 million dollars if he cheats? Come on that’s absurd, Ben go out and fu*k as many hottie, models as you can get your hands on! Way to go Affleck, you’re a baller!
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