{ togawp } – hollywood’s secret sauce

Um, hi, what I want to know is why was it that I was having a lousy ass time at the Abbey while Erin Daniels and Kate Moennig were whooping it up a few blocks away at Normandy Room in LA?

I mean, holy stars and garters, I would have ditched the people I was with and trotted my ass down there if I’d only known.

Normally a day full of boobs and bitches would be considered a banner day for me…but not when I’m getting 40 yr-old tatas flashed in my face. I felt like I’d stumbled across geriatrics pride.

If only I’d known that hotness was right around the corner I would have had the common sense to text my friend and haul my ass over there. I’m sure it would have gone down something like this.

Riley: “Hey, Erin.”

Erin: “Hi, Riley. God you’re hot! Wanna make out?”

Or at least something along those lines. I can’t be for sure but it’s just a guess.

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Catch a first look at an Autobot CGI test on ifilm, ma bitches!

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Check out the first teaser trailer of the wall crawler in his new black suit along with a glimpse of the Sandman.

Nothing like Sony trying to promote their superhero franchise the same same day as you can catch the first showing of Superman. But hey, why not ride the tails of the red cape to promote what looks to be an awesome film!

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You know it’s a piss-poor week of gossip when one of the highlights is Nicole Richie pumping gas. Yep, with Federline’s balls in check…there’s really not a whole lot to talk about.

One thing that I have noticed is that the paparazzi has gotten all crazy train on celebs lately. A celeb can’t even pick their ass without it becoming E: True Hollywood news.

Like Star magazine printing pics of Anna Nicole changing while her lawyer, Howard K. Stern assists her like she’s in invalid. Um, hey, I’m sure it’s fascinating to take a picture of a celebs every waking, walking and breathing moment but there comes a point of “who cares” and just common decency.

But like I said, K-Fed has an album to promote, so Britney pretty much has him by the nutsack for now, sooo not much to talk about.

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For all five of you that care, Matt Dillon was seen at 4pm today checking into the hotel Shutters in Santa Monica. And thanks to his mom’s match-by-colors system, as a child, he was able to match a casual blue polo shirt to his blue jeans when he checked in today.

He checked in alone and his reasons for being there are unclear. My guesses are these.

1) His lady friend threw him out the house

2) He’s having a secret rendezvous with Paris Hilton…wait, she’s never secret about that stuff, so, he’s secretly meeting some Hollywood ho.

3) He’s evading the mob, Scientologists or members of Kabbalah.

4) He heard that…maybe Cameron and JT are broked up and caught the first flight into town to rekindle lost romance.

(Shaddow – thanks for the tip!)

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Just when we thought it was safe to turn on the television the Coreys are doing a sitcom.

Wow, I thought the Corey duo was pretty much over after their National Lampoon’s blockbuster hits (Note sarcasm). But no, Corey Haim and Corey Feldman are back!

“The Coreys” picks up with Feldman living the comfortable suburban life with his wife Suzie and son, until circumstances bring his old pal Haim back into the picture. Episodes would follow Haim — single and the total opposite of Feldman — as he shakes life up for the Feldmans.

I have such fond memories of the Coreys. Like when Haim pulled a gun on my friend because he was a coked up little bitch and when Feldman used to put on make-up when Haim was around to try and look prettier. Uh, I don’t think he has to worry about that too much anymore (ie, bloated Haim, above)

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An amusing little revamp of the Brokeback trailer starring Marty McFly and Doc.

If you’re into a little robot lovin’ check out Empire Brokeback.

There’s something oh-so-right about droids gettin’ it on.

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Okay, my guess is that Sienna Miller was either:

a) dressed by the blind

b) dressed by Goth Baby Gap

c) dressed by Pete Doherty after one of his all night heroin binges

According to The Mirror, she payed close to a grand to look like shit.

Well, I guess that’s what happens when your boyfriend cheats on you with the nanny and then you take his skeezy ass back.

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Okay, this is literally the coolest video I’ve seen in a long time. Who knew that all you needed to become your own Blue Man Group is some Diet Coke and Mentos.

Nothing much, interesting in celeb news today. K-Fed is busy doing lame things like promoting his album. Britney Spears is going incognito in a lame ass wig. The only bright spot is Nicole Kidman, whom I love, decided to take a visit to a children’s hospital while in Sydney for her wedding to Keith Urban.

Awww, luvs for Nicole.

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We (and presumably, Simpsons fans everywhere) are sure this is just some sort of mistake right? Comedy Central, being the pranksters that they are…or is the Simpsons movie really going to feature Jennifer Aniston alongside Homer J.?

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